Special Delivery

If you've followed my blog you know a little about my part lab, part blue-tick hounddog, Thunder. He is what he is--an ADHD furry kid.

Thunder has a little friend. She is glossy black and obviously has some lab in her. She loves to bring Thunder assorted gifts, such as: boots, empty dog food bags, and my all time not-so-favorite, dirty diapers. She is also very hyper.

Little girl likes to wander. She likes to wander fast. Thunder likes to go with her.

The other day my pup had been cooped up for too long, and by the time he got to go play with Little Girl, it was late in the afternoon. After a while, Little Girl showed up half covered with mud, but Thunder was not with her. Pretty soon it was dark. We called and called.

Thunder did not come home.

I told myself not to worry. If he was stuck somewhere he would get unstuck. And if he got into a fight with another critter he'd probably win. Dogs were part wolf, right? I'd seen him beat a pit bull before. Never mind that he acted like it was a game the whole time and likely was too, well, let's say 'inexperienced' to know it was a fight. If he was lost he'd make his way back. I mean, dogs find their way home from hundreds of miles away all the time. Like in Homeward Bound.

Did I mention before that Thunder is scared of the dark?

We called and called, yelling, "Treat!" about every five minutes. At 11:00 p.m. or so I told the kids he must have found a nice place to sleep and couldn't hear us. We would try again in the morning.

Thunder did not come home.

I assured my daughter that he would return. The day dragged on. Periodically we would holler for him. Little Girl, with tailed tucked and mournful eyes, haunted our back door.

The we heard a familiar honk in the driveway. Our mail lady always honked if she had a package for us. She was early. My son went out to get the mail, but this was a special delivery. Thunder! He had ended up at some nice lady's house a couple of roads over. The nice lady had met the mail carrier and asked her if she knew who this dog belonged to. The answer was yes! Thunder hopped into the back of the mail lady's jeep and she brought him to us.

And so, Thunder came home.

Some people say my dog is really dumb, what with him not being able to find his way home from two streets down and being scared of the dark. But, he was smart enough to find a human friend who fed him meat pies before he caught a taxi ride home.

Techie Trap

The power went out today due to a winter storm.

I had worried about that. All morning I ran around the house preparing, just in case. I stuffed laundry in the washer, tried to get dishes done and put a pot of soup on. My efforts to enlist the help of my kids were of no avail.

The two who could have been the most helpful were more concerned about keeping the computers running than filling jugs with water. Both are both very technically inclined and can fix anything wrong with your computer or electronic device. They did not share my perpective on the order of priorties.

Then the lights went out. I asked them if they had any ideas about an alternate source of heat since the electricity had failed. One boy went and found a camp heater, but parts of it were missing. They sat on the couch.

I was totally disgusted. "You guys are no use at all," I told them.

"Of course not," retorted son number one. "The power's out."

Meeting the Governor

It's not every day you get to meet the governor, but last week I did. I listened to him speak to a smallish group, wishing my daughter could be in the room. This is an important man.

He was very personable. I enjoyed his talk immensely and told him so. I got to shake his hand and have my picture taken with him. Right before the picture was snapped I wished I had worn something else, but was pleased just the same thinking about how I could say to my friends, "Guess what? I met the Governor!"

Here it is week later and I didn't mention it to a soul. It's been a hectic week. We are trying to get ready for a trip my daughter is taking. Performances are involved, so there are practices, costumes to get ready, hotel reservations to make, the list goes on. One of the boys is sick with some sort of virus again. It has been raining quite a bit lately and my car sprung a leak. A good six inches of water collected in the bottom of the trunk before we noticed it. There has been some upheaval in other areas of life as well. I think the most disrupting thing has been the addition of a new puppy to our family.

He is an eight week old mixed darling who came to us needing medical care and grooming. Now that he is feeling better we have discovered he obviously has some ADHD heritage. While our new pup Thunder is a joy, like some of the human boys in this family who also have ADHD heritage, he is an exhausting joy. He is going to be l a r g e. It is imperative that he learn commands like 'down' as soon as possible. Anyone who has ever had a pup knows there is a massive time investment in the cleaning and scooping areas as well. So I've been busy. Too busy to think about name dropping at all.

Yesterday my hands were in a sink of dirty dishes and I was day dreaming about being a famous novelist someday. Perhaps people would line up just to shake my hand and smile at me. That's when I remembered meeting the Governor. If I ever do get famous I will certainly not be as important or vital as he is, and I had forgotten all about my big moment of meeting the governor.

Should my day in the spotlight ever come and my head start to swell, I will remind myself that people might have other things on their minds besides thinking about how great I am. Like getting on back to the house in hopes there won't be extra puppy messes to clean up.

Sustainability

My second son was reading a newsletter article titled "Sustainability."

"Hey Mom!" he said, "We're energy efficient. We always fill the washer to capacity when we do laundry."

Point A to Point B

Recently, I attended a lecture about writing by Allison Pittman. It was morning. There came a time when we were asked to pick up a pen and write. I had my notebook. I had two pens. But it was morning. Besides, flash writing is not something I usually do well at. And it was still morning . . . or at least it wasn't lunch time yet.

I gathered my thoughts and was about to make a mark on my paper when, at that exact moment, she said, "Your three minutes are up."

Discussion followed. I did not contribute. When she resumed her speech I was struck by her statement, "to get your writing from point A to point R . . ."

I thought to myself, "I'd be happy to get from point A to point B."

Boys Are Strange Creatures

We were sitting at the pizza place and I told my friend Baby Girl's most recent observation. My friend agreed that boys were, indeed, very strange creatures. She lamented the fact that she could not understand some of the things her son did (or did not) do.

Being blessed with an over abundance of boys, I thought of my vast knowledge of all things Star Trek, how I listen to different music than my peers, and the way I sometimes blurt out, "Cool, Dude!"

I sipped my water. "You shouldn't try to understand them," I said, "It's like going over to the dark side."

Red Shoes

First, there was the bad news about my husband's wrist injury. It wasn't healing as fast as it should. That meant at least a few more weeks of light duty which equals less pay. The same day we received this notification, my son got a letter in the mail about his tuition. No financial aid. A few more unexpected medical bills rounded out the week. I have been, as I posted on facebook, "So stressed my toes are tense." My solution? Retail Therapy.

After I had pursued the offerings of purses and jewelry at one of my favorite stores, I turned my attentions toward creating at least one ensemble around black pants I recently acquired via the Target Daily Deal. I found a couple of tops that would work, but still was not satisfied. I headed to the shoe department. I tried on many pairs of shoes but when my poor little tense toes slipped into some unbelievably comfortable slides, I knew I had found my match. The only thing is, they were red. Then it hit me. I have never owned a pair of red shoes. So, of course, I immediately took them to the register and bought them.

Me and my toes feel much better now.

Cosmetology School

Yesterday my daughter was playing with her doll's hair. She combed and fiddled, then decided doll's hair was simply unmanageable. Out came the scissors. At first, she was doing just fine. The doll's hair did look much better on the side she had cut. It even curled under like a bob is supposed too. Unfortunately, the other side turned out bit too short, which meant the first side must be trimmed some more.

If you have ever cut hair, you know what happened next.

When the 'do' was finally even, my daughter held the doll at arm's length and examined her creation with a wry pinch of the lips.

"Well," she sighed, "at least now I know I'm not going into the hair cutting business."

Books I Might Write Someday

1. Confessions of a Craft Addict
2. Steak Ain't the Same Once It's Been Through the Babyfood Grinder
3. Bringing Up Boys, and Rabbits, and Cats, and Dogs
4. Camo is a Color
5. It Only Takes One Princess to Hold the Majority Vote
6. Waiting for the Paint to Dry
7. All Dogs Go to My House
8. Bangs or Botox?
9. Just Eat the Cheesecake
10. The Mad Red Hatter's Real Life Adventures

Today my little girl asks, "How's your book coming, Momma?"

"Not so good today."

She leans over the keyboard, squints at my monitor. "Chapter Five! That's very good, Momma."

"But I've been working on this chapter for almost two weeks," I whine.

"Well, " she pats my arm, "I usually take a month to finish a chapter when I write a book."

My husband is on a low fat diet, so for the last several months I have been experimenting with recipes. Last night my son came in after a long day of classes and grabbed a piece of freshly baked cake. "This is good!" he said. He was confident when he stated, "This is not fat free."

My Week

Monday came. I did not feel so good but got moving anyway. Then my son checked the balance due for tuition and it was more than double the amount it should have been. This required a trip to the college. I had an appointment in the same area I didn't want to put off anyway. After being fortified with caffeine, I donned an oversized pink sweatshirt and my softest comfy jeans and forged ahead.

It turned out to be a pretty good day. I had an excellent time conversing with one of our church staff. The tuition problem was rectified. "Someone wrote it wrong," the lady at the college said. I'll say. An extra one in the thousands' place makes a huge difference. And then, someone wanted to talk with my son about a job that pays money. This was a very good Monday. Then the rest of the days came after.

During the week we prepared for a performance scheduled for Friday, practicing and making costume adjustments. My son was to do some sign language. He had been suffering a pinched nerve for a week. It was still bothering him, so I spent a lot of time telling him to lie down on the heating pad.

Other things happened. My dog somehow pulled the outside water pipe up out of the ground and disconnected the water from the house. We had to turn off the water for a while. It was making a small lake in the backyard. The toilet overflowed. This was after we got the water fixed. It had nothing to do with the other water problem. Neither did the deal with the washer. My laundry appliances are just temperamental. The washer will sometimes stop working. It makes a horrible squealing noise that my husband is trying hard to ignore. Now the dryer, which he did recently fix, likes to randomly come on all by itself.

Tuesday was ok, as far as I remember. We had some minor bumps, projects delayed by missing tools, and things of that nature, but no major disasters that I recall. There may have been a small kitchen fire.

Wednesday we had a fun day out planned and enjoyed ourselves even though my head still hurt a bit. When we came home, the neighbor's rottweiler was chewing on my puppy dog. My dog, Thunder, is not a tiny thing, unless you compare him to a buffalo. Or a rottweiler. We jumped out of the car to rescue the pup. (Thunder was not hurt, just a little damp.) Someone forgot to close the car door. Rottie decided he wanted to go for a ride. In my car. He would not get out. All I could think about is how much rotties drool. And chew. I tempted the nice doggie out with ham placed strategically down my drive back to his house. This took time . . . and approximately half a ham. I did not make it to Ladie's Bible Study that night.

Thursday my little dancer began the day by saying, "I think I yelled too much yesterday. My throat is sore." Ginger Ale and jello was the menu for lunch. Around 1:00 I sent a message to my oldest to bring home more ginger ale and nausea medicine. I cleaned the bathroom several times Thursday. I spent the evening cleaning carpet and washing towels. When my poor little girl developed a fever I sent a message of apologies and regrets about the performance. Maybe the dress will still fit this Easter.

Friday I cut my own hair.

Enhanced Vision

My daughter got her first pair of eye glasses yesterday. When she put them on she said, "Cool! Now everything is Hi-Def!"

Top Ten Highlights The Week After Christmas

1. Got wrapping paper and candy canes for 50% off at Wally World.
2. Eradicated entrenched dust bunnies from their lair under the futon.
3. Ate way too much chocolate and had to go buy more.
4. Watched and rewatched my favorite home videos.
5. Checked out three novels from the library.
6. Replaced the shelf paper in the kitchen cabinets.
7. Got puppy shots and dewormer at Tractor Supply.
8. Found a clean, plot driven, family friendly movie that was not animated.
9. Registered a complaint with Fed Ex about packages that never came.
10. Was rousted from bed after midnight because the air compressor caught fire.

Sickness got the best of me this Thanksgiving, but I still felt obligated put on the whole 'turkey and pie' show. After, my husband took the kids for a boat ride. They returned to find me stretched out in the living room on a pile of pillows. My middle son used acting skills acquired in drama club to put on his best angst ridden, quavering voice. He said, "Don't go, Mom, don't go."

I ignored him---to no avail. He continued, "Don't go towards the light!"

I cracked an eyelid open. The only light I could see from my no longer peaceful repose was the kitchen light over the sink.

"Why would I go towards the light?" I asked. "There's dishes in there."

Odd October

My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. James 1:2-3 NCV

There were a lot of storms in October. Leaks sprung in the walls, two windows of the house, and my car trunk. The backseat of the car had to be removed and a large, bright blue tarp covered my auto. It stayed that way for quite some time.

The phone was out all month. I don't know if that was weather related.

I lost a tax bill, but couldn't call about it or drive to the courthouse to resolve the issue.

My dryer died.

The month progressed this way.

Lightning struck the network cable and fried the computers. I think that was the 30th. On the last day of the month, the T.V. made a loud POP and an acrid, electrical burning smell filled the house. Normally this would upset me, but I simply got up and went to finish cleaning the kitchen.

Then I discovered that the deep freezer had been off for three days.

After that one of the boys told me about the leaky toilet, so we spent some time tearing up the new flooring and disposing of it since it was ruined.

A little after 11:00 p.m. all was quiet except for a drip, drip, dripping. It was not raining. The fridge had decided to start defrosting and produced incredible amounts of water. There was water under the kitchen cabinets. Water had seeped through the wall and puddled in the utility room behind the dryer.

At 11:45 or so we heard an animal getting into the trash. My son put on his shoes and got a flashlight. Remembering the skunk that lurked nearby in the woods I said, "Let's wait fifteen minutes--until October's over."

Pen Names

I've been working on a novel. It's hard work. I was staring at the computer keyboard yesterday and decided what I really needed was a pen name. When I was a little bitty girl, I was known by my family as DonnaMe. I thought, "Hey, I'll shorten it to D'me." At the time it looked kind of foreign and elegant to me. I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation and a headache.

I asked my family what they thought of the name. I had to write it out before they got it. My middle son read out loud, "Duh me."

I suddenly realized that if you live in Texas, only a dummy would name themselves D'me.

Holiday Weekend

A weekend at home,
surrounded by my children
large and small.

Couches are full,
T.V. turned on,
movie time.

The cupboard is empty of bowls.
They wait, in the sink,
to be washed . . .
again.

I made Mom's Chicken Soup,
jello (three kinds)
and
a jug of sweet tea.

We are almost out of tissues.
The little one asks,
"Can Daddy go get me some Puffs?"

I spoon in purple medicine
and pass out white tablets.

A cool cloth.

She scowls,
looks at her brother
and accuses,
"He germed up the cereal bars."
Coughs.
"I bet he licked them."

Sweet Muffins

I wanted to make muffins this morning. I cook like my Nana did. Most of the time I don't bother to measure or look in a cookbook, but sometimes you need a recipe. I dug through my recipe box. What were they called? Breakfast Muffins? Easy Muffins? I flipped through cards for Angie's Cake, Baked Beans, Chocolate Frosting, Hawaiian Pork Chops. I smiled, remembering the time my box seemed unusually disorganized. I was shuffling through the cards that day when my then eight year old son said, "You know how you always say you can't find the recipe?"

"Mmm hmmm," I said, intent on my search.

"I fixed that," he said.

I looked up.

"You did?"

"Yup," he said proudly. "I put them in alphabetical order."

Nana had three boys, too.

I found the card. They are called Sweet Muffins.

Do you ever feel like you're a little 'different' from the rest of the crowd?